“Jibber Jabber”…

Posted: July 17, 2013 in Quickie

 I’m actually not sure what to write, or if I can write anything meaningful even, I’m definitely not in the right frame of mind to write anything noteworthy. 

But here I am, still writing, hoping something is going to come up, hoping that by the time I’m done, that I would have ended up talking about something that means something to somebody…

 

Maybe you try and ask me, “how do you feel?” 

Well, I’d stare at you for a few seconds, genuinely blank, smile, and say “I’m good.” When in truth, the hardest thing for me to do these days is sort out my feelings. 

I know what you might say, that I’m just confused, and to that I would ask “about what exactly?”

I really hope that God knows, because I don’t, and I’m pretty sure that nobody that might be reading this does either. 

Sometimes I try to think of a time when it was all clear, when I knew just what I was feeling, and it is only then that I feel something.

Anger.

But I’m angry about what exactly? That my whole life has been going by on autopilot? That I am just a drone? That I don’t have control?

 

I’m angry about nothing basically, this makes me depressed.

 

I try what seems like my hardest to shake or at least try to hide this depression.

 I don’t have much success at this, in fact I fail very badly, because its something that everybody knows and loathes. 

 

I think its safe to say that I’m quite lost, and I am trying to find my way back home. 

Trapped in a maze that I am trying to crack and find my escape-that wouldn’t be frowned upon by the queen of hearts. 

So far, no good…

 

This is not an invitation to my “pity-party”, really I’m just rambling, not sure I’ve said much of anything at all. 

But if you’re reading this and you can relate, well, sucks for you. 

I should know

I am you…… 

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Comments
  1. omojo says:

    Hmm…..cool

    Like

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